a dreamer like Anne wrote:I think it's a valid concern. It's one that I've had to wrestle with recently but so far it's working out that I took a jump of faith and went from being a just a friend to someone to being their girlfriend. I really can't get my thoughts together to write a decent answer. If you want to PM me I'm willing to "listen."
kittywampus wrote:Interesting. I'm curious as to what was it that made you jump? Was it something he said or did, or was it a decision you worked out for yourself? In other words, in a situation where one is deciding either friends-only or lets-try-something-more, is that decision purely internal or is there anything the friend can do to nudge things along?
Anne of Gray Gables wrote:I don't understand why many of you guys seem to think it is just an excuse.
I suppose it is an excuse for not telling your friend/person you're in love with, how you feel, but I also think that there is ground to that excuse.
I mean, the friendship could be ruined by it, couldn't it?
Of course, that depends.
But are you saying that it's stupid/wrong not to "go for it", if you really are concerned that the friendship will be ruined by it? Are you of the opinion that that is just a risk that has to be taken, so therefore all "excuses", including "I won't do anything because I'm afraid it'll ruin the friendship" are wrong/stupid?
kittywampus wrote:I had a good sleep, i don't want to ruin it by getting up.
kittywampus wrote:well, i am definitely going to ruin a friendship, albeit slowly. wish me luck!
kittywampus wrote:Also, saying that implies that one wants to keep things the way they are; not change anything. But the problem is that things have already changed, or else it would never have been brought up. When someone is interested, it's very hard to un-interest.
Bets wrote:i have a friend who really likes this guy, and the guy really likes her. they've been friends for a long time. she broke up with her boyfriend recently, so the guy's never made moves until now. however, she's choosing to stay friends with him partly because she needs to stay single for a while, partly because she's moving out of the country soon. in her words, a relationship at this time would turn the friendship "into a cheap fling." instead, they're both enjoying being in like, as opposed to the entailments of a real relationship.
Gilbert, too, was in full chase after a scholarship, but found plenty of time for frequent calls at Thirty-eight, St. John's. He was Anne's escort at nearly all the college affairs, and she knew that their names were coupled in Redmond gossip. Anne raged over this but was helpless; she could not cast an old friend like Gilbert aside, especially when he had grown suddenly wise and wary, as behooved him in the dangerous proximity of more than one Redmond youth who would gladly have taken his place by the side of the slender, red-haired coed, whose gray eyes were as alluring as stars of evening. Anne was never attended by the crowd of willing victims who hovered around Philippa's conquering march through her Freshman year; but there was a lanky, brainy Freshie, a jolly, little, round Sophomore, and a tall, learned Junior who all liked to call at Thirty-eight, St. John's, and talk over 'ologies and 'isms, as well as lighter subjects, with Anne, in the becushioned parlor of that domicile. Gilbert did not love any of them, and he was exceedingly careful to give none of them the advantage over him by any untimely display of his real feelings Anne-ward. To her he had become again the boy-comrade of Avonlea days, and as such could hold his own against any smitten swain who had so far entered the lists against him. As a companion, Anne honestly acknowledged nobody could be so satisfactory as Gilbert; she was very glad, so she told herself, that he had evidently dropped all nonsensical ideas—though she spent considerable time secretly wondering why.
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